Rescuing Gollum
by FluffyFluff
Summary: During the time that Gollum is being kept captive in Mirkwood, He acidentally gets wished away into the Labyrinth by Aragorn. He and Legolas must make it through the Labyrinth and rescue Gollum from King Jareth. Lord of the Rings/Labyrinth crossover.
1. Riddles in the Woods

Disclaimer: I do not own anything used in this story, exept the idea and plot.

Note: If you've seen the movie Labyrinth (not Pan's Labyrinth but the one with David Bowie) you will definately understand this better. There might be some jokes or references that you won't understand if you haven't seen it. Also, I base all of my Lord of the Rings writing off of the book rather than the movie so if there are any questions or mistakes that I might have overlooked please don't hesitate to let me know. I really appreciate feedback and critiques, but no flames please.

* * *

Aragorn, after having found and captured Gollum, had now finally reached Mirkwood, where Thranduil had agreed to keep the creature captive until Gandalf arrived to question him. Although he did not entirely trust the notoriously, mischevious Mirkwood elves with keeping such an important prisoner, he knew that it wasn't really up to him. His job was to do as Gandalf wizard seemed to always have a good reason for what he did and Aragorn trusted him completely. _At least I'll get to see my friend Legolas again,_ he thought as he made his way towards the dark woods looming above him, Gollum still ranting and carrying on behind him. _Why I look forward to that, I know not, after that last little trick he pulled- _Aragorn's thoughts were interupted by a loud screech.

"Let us go my precious!" Gollum yelled, "Nasty man puts nasty elveses ropes arounds us. it hurtsss us! He takes us to nasty elvses with bright eyeses yes, _gollum,_ it hurts our eyes it does."

"Oh don't be ridiculous!" Aragorn exclaimed. "What doesn't hurt your blasted eyes! If its not the sun or the moon or the stars, or even the slightest reflection on the water?!"

" Why does we argue with it precious?" Gollum had now started talking to himself again. "They stole it from us. we won't be nice to them if they aren't nice to us. Not worth arguing precious."

After the too long, 50 league journey with Gollum from the Black Marshes Aragorn had gotten used to his less than polite comments. So he decided to ignore him, at least they were here now, and he hopefully wouldn't have to see the vile creature ever again.

He haddn't taken more than three steps into the forest when he suddenly fell into a large pit that had previously been covered in leaves. As he was holding Gollum's rope, the former hobbit was pulled in after him. "BLASTED ELVES!!!" He yelled. _This would never have happened in Rivendell._ Presently, he was helped out of the pit.

"That might have been amusing under different circumstances, Legolas. Those being that the victim is not me for once." Aragorn glowered at his friend.

"Welcome, Aragorn, son of Arathorn and Gilraen." Legolas bowed formally, smiling deviously. "You didn't expect me to give you a proper greeting?"

"Well I'm sure you would feel differently if it was you stuck in a pit with that foul creature." Aragorn replied nodding discreetly towards Gollum, who was still attempting to crawl out of the trap.

"_We hatessss _them we does. Cruel elveses trappes poor smeagol in nasty pit _yess Gollum_!" Legolas and Aragorn exchanged looks.

" Well isn't he a charming creature?" Legolas stated sarcastically. "So well-spoken."

"Well he's yours now." Aragorn prepared to leave as quickly as possible, as he knew this would not go over well with the elf. Legolas's green eyes narrowed,"Leaving so soon_, mellon nin_."

"Yes actually." Aragorn replied,"I've done what Gandalf asked me to and my task is now completed."

Legolas peered into the pit where Gollum lay grovelling on the ground. He looked at Aragorn and smiled innocently. "Aren't you going to help me, my good friend? Only for a short while. I believe we have some catching up to do as we have not seen each other for some time."

Aragorn rolled his eyes. Although he did not want to stay in the dark woods, he knew better than to anger the wood elves greatly_. A lesson I had to learn the hard way_. He thought as he sat down next to Legolas under a huge knarled tree. As soon as he sat down though, he had the disturbing feeling that he was sinking into something sticky.

"Ugh!"He cried, jumping up as he realized that he had just sat in a very large spider web. Legolas smirked as Aragorn feebly attempted to brush himself off.

"Oh I hope when the ring is destroyed that these dreadfull spiders will leave. How I hate all these cobwebs and darkness. It's so...gloomy!"

"Gloomy?" Legolas said with a confused expression. "I don't know what your talking about. We like it like this. Look at how the spider's delicate silk glitters in the faint moonlight, and reflects in the mist, those spiders can be a real pain though."

Aragorn shivered. He could see beauty in the place, although he much prefered Rivendell.

Their attentions turned back to the writhing creature in the pit when he suddenly said in a discusted voice,

" Nonsense it speakes of _Gollum_! Elveses speaks of nonsense of webses and sparkleses _gollum_, _gollum_!

Legolas turned around slowly to face Gollum, who sheilded his eyes mello-dramatically. He was rather proud of his description of his home and felt that Gollum's comment ruined the moment.

"You're fortunate that I'm so patiant." Legolas said with strained calmness,"Otherwise, that would have angered me."

Gollum turned his head away dramatically. "Don't look at us precious! too bright for our poor eyeses it is yesss."

he glared at Legolas evilly for a second before stating quietly,"And it has funny earses it does."

Legolas's eyes gleamed with anger. "Would you like me to tell you about your ears, you vile toad? Not to mention you hair as well."

At this Aragorn stepped between the two of them before the elf went to reach for his bow. "er, Legolas, I believe Gandalf needs him alive."

"Well I bets it can't answer our riddleses my precious no. _Gollum_!"

"Thats Enough Gollum!" Aragorn said firmly_. Gandalf had better have a very good reason for this_. He thought.

"Elves are great at answering riddles, actually." Legolas said indignantly.

Gollum blew a rasberry,"No precious not like a bagginses, no. We will ask it one and then we see precious. What's always ahead, but never comes, Always coming but will never be here."

Gollum knew this was about the easiest riddle he could think of but knowing the skill of elves when it came to riddles, he was confident that it would stump the elf. Legolas thought about this. He also knew that riddles were one of the few things he couldn't do well and was beggining to regret accepting the challenge.

"That is the worst riddle I've ever heard!" Legolas said, "It doesnt even rhyme."

Aragorn was beggining to get amused. The riddle was, of course, just about the easiest one he had ever heard. "You really don't know what it is do you?" Aragorn asked. The look Legolas gave him made him regret the comment imediately.

"Okay here's a hint. It has to do with days...and time."Aragorn said trying not to laugh at the look of confusion growing more and more apparent on Legolas's face.

"Well, time is different for me that it is for you two." Legolas said.

Aragorn looked at his friend in disbelief. He was sure anyone could have gotten the answer by now_. How can I make this much easier_? He thought to himself. "Legolas, what comes after today?"

"The first day of the winter solstace." Legolas replied after some thought.

"Keep guessing" Aragorn sighed and considered just telling him the answerk, and that it was already March, but thought better of it. After a few more moments, Legalas's frustration was beggining to worry Aragorn. "If today is today, and the day before was yesterday, than what is the day after today called_?" I swear if he doesn't get it this time_- "

"what- oh." Legolas looked slightly sheepish as he finally got the answer.

"Yesss, obvious it was my precious, _Gollum_. Now it is it's turn it is."

Legolas glared at Gollum, "Alrite then, what's small, extremely irritating, and is uncontrollably obsessive?"

"That's not a riddle my precious! Its not fair it isn't!" Gollum shrieked. "...Its a nasty goblins is it?"

Legolas looked slightly surprised,"Yes, and no. I was refering to you." He concluded smugly.

"Legolas." Aragorn said warningly.

Gollum hissed. He was getting tired of the elf's rude comments, so he decided to mock him with his own words in his next riddle. "tricksy I am, and hard to get through, without getting caught, in a spiderweb or two, covered I am in mist and gloom, I'll most likely lead you to your doom. Answer that my precious!"

Gollum knew it wasn't the best he could make up on the spot, he could do better. It was also extreamly easy, especially since it was so similar to what Legolas had just said himself, but Gollum suspected it would probably confuse him all the same_. And then think how stupid that nasty elf will feel once he knows the answer yes my precious_.

"I know it!" Legolas stated proudly. "It's a place isn't it! It's the Goblin's Labyrinth."

With that, Aragorn burst out in laughter. "The Goblin's Labyrinth, Legolas? are you serious?! There's no such place. He was talking about Mirkwood."

"You gives it away! _Gollum, Gollum, Gollum_!" Gollum shrieked furiously.

"Of course it's real Estel...Well, have you ever tried to wish anyone away?" Legolas added when Aragorn raised an eyebrow.

"Well I can't say I have." Aragorn replied ,"But I think I could rightfully tell you that if I were to wish one of us away right now, nothing would happen."

"You don't know!" Legolas said. "If you were to say, the words right now, Jereth the goblin king would come and take said person away! Then if you wish for them back he comes back and gives you thirteen hours-"

"It's just a story, to scare children into appreciating each other. There's no Goblin king and there's no Labyrinth! I'll prove it to you. I wish-"

"NO! Aragorn don't, it's real!" Legolas wailed, "You've got to believe me! What if it does work and then Gandalf arrives? He'll go straight to my father."

"Legolas, nothing is going to happen. You can't be telling me that no one's ever wished Gollum away?"

"I never said that." Legolas said, "I wouldn't be surprised if he already had a nice long visit to the Labyrinth, from the looks of him. Jareth's captives are turned into goblins if they are not saved before the time is up."

Aragorn scoffed "If he were real."

Legolas scowled," I can't believe you aren't trusting me. You know I can't lie, I'm an elf."

"Well first of all, I don't really see any reason for trusting you, I'm sure you would lie if you could, it sounds like your idea of an amusing joke, no, I believe you really think that there really is a goblin king that takes people away for fun, which is why I'm doing you a favor by proving you wrong."

"-Aragorn, I'm warning you-"

"I wish the goblins would take Gollum away, right now!" Aragorn said confidently, to the horror of his companion.

* * *

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that in The Lost Tales of Middle Earth it mentioned that Gollum diddn't know the word hobbit, or halfling and that was why he couldn't tell Sauron anything other than "Shire, Baggins". I forgot about this when I first wrote the story though so I went back and replaced all the times Gollum said hobbitses with "Baggins". I do wonder what he used to call himself though.

Also, There wasn't anything in the book saying that elves aren't able to lie, but I don't think they ever do in the stories. From what I've read about them, I think it's that way with faeries and they're closely realated and I thought it would add an interesting element to the story.

Please review :) I'm also open to suggestions.


	2. It's Nothing, Hardly

"Very funny Gollum, where are you!" Aragorn called out nervously ,"Come back here, now!"

Suddenly a barn owl flew into Aragorn's face and proceeded to take the form of a strange man with strangely styled, spiky blond hair. He looked like he had just stepped out of Willy Wonka's glitter factory.

"You know very well where he is." The goblin king said.

"I told you so." Legolas said softly.

Aragorn was mortified. "No, but you don't understand!" Aragorn wailed. The goblin king raised an eyebrow. "I didn't mean it. I just said it to prove to Legolas that you weren't real because that is what I had thought! Please bring him back, this is all a terrible misunderstanding!"

"Oh, but what's said is said." Jareth said with mock sympathy. "I just wish that people would say something different for a change." He added looking slightly bored.

"Yes but this is different!" Aragorn said desprately. "Gandalf will kill us if he arrives and Gollum isn't here."

Jareth looked at Aragorn ,"Be carefull what you wish for then... and maybe it would do you some good to listen to your elvish friends more often."

_This can't be happening! _Aragorn thought as he tried to figure out a way out of the situation. "The creature you abducted is a prisoner of Thranduil, king of Mirkwood." Aragorn stated.

"Oh, well, you should have thought of that before you wished him away." Jereth replied cooly.

Legolas turned to Aragorn ,"There's nothing we can do." he said ,"The only way you can get Gollum back is to go into the labyrinth and fetch him."

"If I must." Aragorn replied grimly.

His surroundings changed abruptly and he, Legolas, and Jereth were standing outside of the massive maze. Hanging on a tree nearby was a clock. Looking closer at it, Aragorn noticed that the numbers went up to thirteen instead of twelve.

Legolas turned to look at Jareth ,"Why have you brought me here? I couldn't care less about that Gollum. You can keep him."

"Apparently, your friend thinks otherwise." Jareth replied, he then leaned closer to the elf and whispered so that Aragorn couldn't hear, "You and I both know that he can't do this alone."

He then stood in front of them, You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labrinth. You must get to my castle in the center of it, and take back what I have stolen, er, you have lost." Jareth said before dissapering.

"These goblins are not exactly like the ones you and I are familiar with Aragorn." Legolas said as they walked towards the entrance.

Aragorn stopped ,"It sounds as if you've had some experience." Aragorn said curiously.

Legolas looked uncomfortable. "If I didn't know better, I'd think that you had done something similar to this before." Aragorn added_. I wouldn't be surprised. I'll interogate him about it later_.

"And we're here." Legolas said, hoping to change the subject. "Try to stay away from the fairies." he said as they went towards the door ,"They bite."

"Look Legolas, is that a goblin?" Aragorn spotted a strange looking little man. He seemed to be squirting the fairies with some strange substance, that was knocking them unconcious.

"Just keep walking." Legolas answered ,"It's a dwarf."

"Well he might be able to help us." Aragorn replied ,"He doesn't look very much like a dwarf, how did he get here? Was he from Middle Earth?"

Legolas hurridly ushered Aragorn through the door and closed it behind them. "First of all," He said "Since when have dwarves ever helped anyone?" Aragorn rolled his eyes, he had forgotten about the dwarf and elf rivalry that had been going on in Middle Earth for ages. "Yes, he was originally from Middle Earth, the reason he's here now is because he was wished away, a long time ago, and didn't get saved so he looks more and more like a goblin each year. Lets go, it's best if he doesn't see us."

Aragorn looked around himself. He was in a long narrow passage that streched in one direction for as far as he could see_. What kind of a maze is this? It just goes on and on_. The elf was muttering to himself ,"Where is it?" Then he put his fingers against the wall and started walking untill he felt an opening that was hardly visible because of the identical wall behind it. They walked through the first turn in the Labyrinth. Now they were in a strange courtyard with lots of walls and turns.

"Now this looks more like a maze" Aragorn said, relieved.

"I hate this part" Legolas muttered under his breath.

"Do you know where we are?" Aragorn asked.

"Yes, we are in the Labyrinth's courtyard, but It's extremely difficult to get out of because the walls are ever moving every time you turn your back on them."

"That's terrible!" Aragorn replied.

"That it is, my friend, but fortunatly, I have just thought of something." And with a mischevious glance around Legolas swung himself up on top of the nearest wall. He looked over the edge at Aragorn. "I can see everything now." he called down to him. "Go that way." he then pointed Aragorn in the right direction.

meanwhile...

* * *

Jereth was horrified when he appeared back in his castle, only to find that what he had gained, might have been one of the most foul creatures he had ever layed eyes upon, and that's really saying something_. Maybe he'll make a good goblin_. Jereth thought to himself. He was more than a little disturbed when he saw Gollum crouched on the floor, muttering to himself in what almost seemed like two different voices. He seemed to be having an argument with himself. Jereth could barely make out the words

"Where are we, _gollum_! Nasty elvses are tricksy yes they are. Just like the bagginses. No! The baggins stole it from us they did, if we had it now we would be safe yes! We're trapped we are precious!"

Gollum suddenly began to get angrier. "Filthy little hobbitses, they stole it from us!"

Jareth wondered what could have been stolen from gollum that was so important that he would be more worried about it than being trapped in the center of the Labyrinth. Apparently whatever it was could have helped him escape if he had it.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

Gollum turned around slowly, "My, PRECIOUS!!!" All the goblins surrounding Gollum scattered in fear.

"Gollum, would you like to see how your, er, companions, are doing?" Jereth offered.

Gollum hissed but it was obvious he was trying to hide his curiosity. He followed Jareth as he walked toward his crystal.

"What's it doing?!" Gollum cried as an image began to appear inside the crystal.

Jareth frowned. "I do believe he's cheating!" He exclaimed, watching as Legolas climbed the wall and gave Aragorn directions from above. "Nobody cheats in my Labyrinth!"

_I've got to give him some credit though, I wonder why no one else has thought of that yet?_ Gollum snickered as Jareth stormed out of the door.

* * *

"No, it's that way!" Legolas called down to Aragorn.

Suddenly there was a cloud of glitter from which emerged the goblin king. Legolas yelled something in elvish that Aragorn had never heard before and jumped off the wall so quick he thought he must have missed it by blinking.

"And what, do you think you are doing?" Jereth said irritatedly.

"Nothing, hardly." Legolas said a little too casually.

"Nothing?!" Jareth mocked ,"Nothing? Nothing tra la la?!"

"Don't mock me!" Legolas replied angrily.

"You were cheating." Jereth replied, ignoring Legolas. "Do you know what happens if you cheat? You have to start all over again."

This was more than Aragorn could handle ,

"What?! No, you can't make us go back, it's not right, or fair."

"Don't defy me!" Jereth answered. "You don't want to start at the beginning then? So be it."

Everything began to fade and before they knew it, they were in a deep, dark cave and the only opening was, unfortunately, far above them.

"Where are we?" Aragorn whispered.

"I don't know." Legolas replied, "but I think we would have been better off back at the entrance. We weren't even that far in. Nice going Estel."

Before Aragorn could reply there was a voice behind them, "Who's there?" It said gruffly.

Aragorn sensed Legolas tense beside him. A candle was lit and Aragorn could make out the face of the dwarf he had seen earlier. He looked at them for a minute before gasping ,"You!"

"Hello Hoggle." Legolas said, slightly akwardly.

"Legolas, whats going on? You know him?" Said a very confused Aragorn.

Legolas shifted uncomfortably, "You know how you thought that I had been here before, well, you were right."

Aragorn looked from the shame-faced elf to the flabbergasted Hoggle, and back again. Suddenly it hit him.

"Oh Elbereth! Legolas, you diddn't!" A long akward silence followed until Aragorn asked again if anyone knew where they were.

"I usually help people who get stuck in the obbliette, but this is very different." Hoggle glared.

"What's an obliette?" Aragorn asked.

"It's where you put people-" Hoggle started,

"To forget about them." Legolas finished, his voice barely above a whisper.

* * *

Please Review! I'll update ASAP.


	3. The worst he can do

Jareth sighed as he strutted back into the castle to check on his guest. The creature was huddled on the ground muttering various rhymes and songs to himself. Something about fish was all Jereth could really make out. "So, what kind of creature are you anyhow?" He inquired after a while.

"What are we precious? What are we?" Gollum asked Smeagol.

"You're Gollum." Smeagol replied.

"They call us Gollum." Gollum told Jereth.

"And I'm Smeagol." Said Smeagol. "You don't happen to have a tasty fishess for poor, hungry Ssmeagol do you, precious?"

Jareth buried his face in his hands in a gesture of exasperation. Smeagol followed him out of the room to watch Legolas and Aragorn malaciously through the goblin king's crystal ball.

* * *

"Look, if you help us out of the obliette, Legolas will give you a pretty, shiny green or silver jewel thingy. Dwarves like things like that, do they not?" Aragorn offered.

Hoggle tried, in vain, to hide his longing but he wasn't about to trust anyone, much less an elf, even more less the elf that had ruined his life about seven hundred years or so ago.

"Only if you give your word." Hoggle replied turning to Legolas. He knew how literally binding a promise could be to an elf, or any of the fey.

"I promise that if you help my friend and me out of the obliette, then I will give you a silver chain with a green gem in it that you can hang all your other things on. You have my word." Legolas replied imediately.

Hoggle led them over to a corner where he opened a secret door in the wall. A bunch of random items came falling out with a loud crash. "Every time!" Hoggle exclaimed angrily before stuffing the items back into the closet and closing the door. Then he opened the door in the opposite direction, as if the door hinge had switched sides. To everyone's surprise, save Hoggle's, the door opened up to a long cylinder passageway which Aragorn and Legolas followed him out into.

"Well, there you go. I've helped you out and now you're on your own. I probably could have helped you more, but I don't particularly like you guys, so good luck." He concluded sarcastically. Before leaving he turned to Legolas, "You can be expecting me sometime soon, like, tomorrow maybe to pick up my reward." He turned and walked back into the obliette, shutting the door behind him.

"Now do you see why I diddn't want him around?" Legolas said darkly after a few seconds.

"The things you get yourself into." Aragorn replied shaking his head. "Someday you are going to do something really dangerous if you don't watch what you say _(Like volenteering to go on a deadly quest to destroy the terror of an age XD)_ ... so what do you suppose we do now? If you've been here before this should'nt be too hard."

"The Labyrinth is a huge place. It's a lot more extensive than you'd think. The few people who've made it through diddn't go into half of the places that there are in here, Jereth made it that way so that it's impossible to make a map or tell anyone how to get through it." Legolas explained," And I probably should mention, don't say anything about the labyrinth being easy, well it's best not to say anything good about it either, actually, don't comment on it at all."The elf added, seeming slightly paranoid to Aragorn, who seized the opportunity to mess with his friend's emotions.

Aragorn grinned "So, what, I'm not supposed to say anything bad _or_ good about this place? You mean to tell me, that if I were to say, it was a... piece of cake-," Legolas winced ,"-then Jereth would just pop up out of nowhere again? Fine then, how about this, I love the labyrinth!" Aragorn yelled at the ceiling.

"You hear that Jareth? I haven't had this much _fun_ since the last time Legolas convinced a tree to panse me in front of Arwen and her brothers!"

"That was fifteen years ago Aragorn." Legolas said frowning.

The incident had been Elrohir and Elladan's favorite topic for months.

* * *

Jereth was having a wonderfull time watching Aragorn's mental breakdown down in his crystal. He had been trying to decide whether to punish them for almost calling it a peice of cake, but he had said "if" so Jereth decided to let it slip just this one time. He looked up as a small, winged goblin with bulging eyes walked in to the room.

"What is it... Dursley?"

"It's Durlap, your majesty."

"I. don't. care. what. do. you. wan't?" Jereth asked irritated. Everyone always expected him to remember their names.

"I've just come to inform you that the creature er, Gollum is not, exactly, here...anymore." Durlap said intimidated.

"What!"

"One moment he was just sitting there and the next he was gone. I could have sworn we never took our eyes off of him..."

Jereth glared at the bug-eyed goblin, "Great!" He stormed out of the door,"I'll deal with you later!" He called out to the terrified goblin behind him.

* * *

Aragorn and Legolas were still bickering over their past skirmishes when a furious Jereth appeared before them.

"Did you two think that the obliette was the worst I could do? Believe me, if you think you can get away with anything, think again! I'll have you know, I've seen every trick in the book."

"I'm sorry!" Aragorn said,"I just thought Legolas was being paranoid but I assure you, the Labyrinth is anything but a peice of cake."

"Don't toy with me!" Jereth said sharply,"What have you two done with Gollum and Smeagol?!"

"We don't know what you're talking about." Aragorn replied.

"If you don't bring him (or them) back right now I'll dump you both into the bog of eternal stench before you can blink!" Jereth said, ignoring Aragorn.

Aragorn noticed Legolas freeze in horror for a moment.

"We diddn't do it!" The elf said desprately.

"Oh, of course you diddn't, I have every reason to trust you entirely." Jereth said sarcastically, inspecting the nails on his left hand.

"I'm not lying."

"I'm not dense! I know how misleading you can still be, you merely pointed out that there was something that you diddn't do." Jereth waved non-chalauntly,"goodbye, and have a nice life!"

Jereth laughed evilly as trapdoor opened under the two of them, sending them sliding into the bog. Luckily though, they were able to grab onto a slippery stone ledge. After taking a few seconds to catch his breath, Aragorn looked down into what seemed like a bubbling, foul looking swamp. Then the smell hit him. It was litterally the worst thing he had ever smelled in his life. It was so bad that he nearly let go of the ledge to cover his burning nose. He pittied Legolas though, with his hightened elfish senses.

"Well if that's the worst he can do!" Aragorn laughed after they had pulled themselves safely onto the ledge.

Legolas shot a warning glare at him from over his hands wich were cupped tightly over his nose and mouth,"If you so much as touch the water in the bog of eternal stench, you'll smell like it yourself, forever." He said in a muffled voice.

Suddenly they heard a splashing noise from below. "Fisssh, catching fish, lovely tasty fisshes, so juicy sweeeet!"

"I don't think it will make much of a difference, really." Legolas observed as Gollum splashed about in the thick, restless goo.

"It's unfortunate that Jereth didn't stick around a little longer isn't it?" Aragorn said raising an eyebrow.

"Indeed it is" Jereth said from behind them.

"You've been watching us haven't you." Aragorn was more than a little alarmed.

"You didn't seriously think that I would miss out on this now did you?"

"You're not a good person, you know that right?"

"Well, I admit I don't know how you did it," Jereth said, ignoring Aragorn once again,"Congradulations you're both failures, just think of all the good that did you." He stuck out his lower lip in mock sympathy at them before he and Gollum dissapered.

"Congradulations you're both failures?" Legolas quoted, "That would have been a great deal funnier if it wasn't about me."

* * *

Jereth looked up at his clock, only three more hours for the failures. Jereth was bored, which usually meant trouble for those around him. _I think I'll bother Gollum, he's much more amusing than Smeagol, anyhow. _Jareth thought to himself.

"So Gollum-" Jereth began.

Smeagol looked around himself.

"I'm talking to you!" Jereth snapped.

"I don't think he's here right now precious."

Jereth fought to controll his temper, something he rarely ever tried to do. "Smeagol, may I please speak to Gollum?"

"He doesn't really want to talk to you precious."

"Whatever, how come you always say precious? What is precious?"

"Musn't ask us what's not it's business _gollum!_"

"You know you're crazy don't you?"

"Whats he mean precious? Why should we care what it thinks _gollum gollum."_

They argued in this manner for a quite some time untill something caught Jereth's eye. He peered into his crystal,

"Ah, looks like they've met the fireys." He alone started to laugh maniacly. He stopped suddenly and looked around, "Well, LAUGH!" The goblins around him started to laugh feebly.

"And it calls us crazy _gollum." _said the only one not laughing. Then the real uproar began, to Jereth's dismay.

* * *

I'm sorry! I never usually put author's notes in the middle of the story but I just had to this once. If it really bothers anyone I'll be happy to get rid of it. And yes, there is a GLaDOS quote in there (those of you who've played Portal) I couldn't resist. It's all my friend Jequita's fault for making me listen to those GLaDOS quotes constantly!

Again, I would really appreciate some reveiws :)


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